Free time

I have never felt so empowered, and yet so slavish to the inner need and urge for self discipline. I have always known, my temperament howsoever lacking or abundant in work ethic can only do as much harm in times of responsibilities and commitments as is their significance in my life, which may well be viewed as a series of such innumerable, nearing insignificance, commitments. While lack of discipline in free time is worrying not only for its notoriety of introducing the best of tamed minds to the worst of imaginable hungers and thirsts but for the high possibility, of missing this vast potential to discover and redefine oneself, amidst the prevalence of one's free will and anarchic tendencies.

If a man's time were divided into 2 heads, A being the time dedicated to standing upto responsibilities and commitments and B denoting his free time, then It is no wonder to be amazed by the immensely vital yet unrecognized role the latter plays in an average man's life. What we do in our free time, is not only what has emerged out victorious from the ever going struggle for its dominance between our passions, desires, rationalities and capabilities, but also happens to be an attribute something whose role in carving our character can hardly be overemphasized. Our activities in our free time not only help us explore and even identify us for others and ourselves but also constantly influence our overall happiness. Free time, I firmly believe, is the greatest empowering asset one can ever have yet at the same time be the most dreadfully devastating liability too.

Often, I desire

I lie at depths,
Beyond the darkness of gloom
Beyond the cruelty of hope
Beyond the nostalgia of dreams
Yet it is often,
that I desire,
To feel the feeble humanity of her skin
To kiss the purest strands of her silk
To smell the sweet insanity of her cheap perfume
I desire, to claim what is mine

I lie at depths,
Beyond the perversions of injustice
Beyond the absurdities of objectives
Beyond the bankruptcies of words
Yet it is often,
that I desire,
to feel safe in numbers
to create another day, where she’ll exist
to be her slave
I desire, to feed the monster

I lie at depths,
Beyond the will to perish
Beyond the temptation to live
Beyond the meaning of time
Yet it is often,
that I desire,
to be tied to a machine, the kind that’ll make me breathe
to be cured of the lunatic in my head,
to be rearranged till I’m sane
I desire, to save myself

Robbed

Yes, I have been robbed,

Of all those obscure memories,
Of the clarity of your pain,
Of the wisdom I had gained from u,
Of the craving for what was mine
Of the addiction to self afflicted pain
Of wounds to bleed poems,
And Of breaths to waste for..,

By all the liquor I have consumed.

poverty of aspirations

What we achieve is more influenced by our aspirations than our capabilities. Though capabilities play a major role in determining our aspiration, yet it is that of defining limits and not infinitude of our aspirations. This is not only because we always, unfailingly, fail to recognize our capabilities but also because we generally succeed in undermining them and it is more so in times of lows. It is a general weakness, that when we are dejected and dismayed that we pronounce ourselves as absolutely untalented and universally lacking, only to seek comfort in the sheer impossibility of any further decadence of any form in our prevailing condition.

And when we have pronounced ourselves so, absolutely untalented and universally lacking, we cherish plucking every low lying rotten fruit in our journey, for it is all we afford to aspire for. And from that moment onwards, it is not our poverty that makes us poor but the poverty of our aspirations.